GHETTO APOTHECARY

I have skin woes. Yet I am okay with it. I went through a cleanse so naturally everything came out of my skin. A new year, a time to shed the toxins of the year before in order to reveal … Continue reading

Clearing My mind Right On Time

My summer is officially over. I traveled, I worked out and spent time with family and friends. Now reality has set back in. I’m back at work teaching and giving my all.

That is why I usually hit rock bottom after a couple of weeks. I give my all. My mind, body and freedom is taken by work, workouts, family, organizations, hobbies, business and who knows what else.

I have always told myself to work and stay on top, because if I’m not on top I must be failing. In these last few weeks I’ve been going through a mental and physical change.

I am teaching myself to let go. Let go of trying to be the best, have it all, do it all, and attempting to be a glorified super woman.

I always hated that I was a loaner that no one knew. Now that I’ve had my moment in the sun, Im ready to relax in the shade. Far away.

Tonight I did a relaxation yoga. It was liberating. I wasn’t trying to be with people in a studio or master a difficult pose. I just wanted to breathe and relax. I was able to meditate for 10 minutes (minus the 5 seconds where my phone beeped to show me a low battery).

I feel happy. I feel. I want to work on reorganizing myself for the good. I feel as though many times in my life I have struggled to climb this mountain of junk and stress just to get to the top. I want to part with the junk and just handle each challenge as it comes with a clear mind.

Tonight’s Yoga Practice: (From Yoga Journal)

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P. S. I attended bikram yoga for the first time in New York. I hated it. It felt wrong and it felt untrue to my body. I felt like I entered a strange alternate universe of yoga that breaks all of the rules. Lovely studio. Strict yoga teacher and even stricter practice to yoga.

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Weary and Anxious

So school is in session and already I am having anxiety, crying spells and worry. When I think of work, I fear long nights in my classroom, pains in my body, loss of my voice, headaches, musicals, plays, competitions, lesson plans, teaching, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

I left work at 7:20. I wouldn’t make it to yoga on time. I felt the anxiety rise in my body. I have this new positive force of yoga and relaxation and the. Work comes and ruins it! Why must work be the ruin? Why not my devotion to God be the work and work be the enjoyment in my life? Is it possible?

I am working to create a balance on my life. My mental self, spiritual self and physical self. I want to be able to juggle job, love, wellness and ambition all on one hand. Is it possible? I have been learning to be content. I have been wanting to get back into acting, but I am fearful. I fear I am no good, and I fear that I won’t be able to add it to my schedule.

I’m letting my fear overtake my faith. Fear of the demands of my job, fear of trying new things, fear of losing drive and discipline.

This evening I came home, finished an errand for work, looked up auditions, completed my yoga practice and prepared for tomorrow. I prayed for God to be with me and to take away my fears and anxiety.

I am studying the monologue of Nina from Anton Chekov’s The Seagull. Even when she mentions,

Oh I am so tired! If I could only rest….if I could only rest.

She ends her monologue saying,

I must bear my cross and have faith. If I have faith it doesn’t hurt so much, and when I think of my calling I’m no longer afraid of life.

I needed that advice.
Devotional
Reading: Matthew 11:28

Jesus said, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Yoga Flow

Moon Salutations (To be completed during the new moon, full moon, and waning moon since our energy is the lowest here.)

1. Salutation Seal
2. Heart Opening Pose
3. Lunar Standing Forward Bend
4. High Lunge
5. Nectar father Moon Flowing Vinyasa
6. Somachandrasana
7. Transition to Sahaji Ardha Malasana
8. Spontaneous Flowing Half Squat
9. High Lunge
10. Plank Pose
11. Melting Heart Pose
12. Spontaneous Flowing Cobra Pose
13. Bliss- Filled Downward Dog
14. Three Legged Downward Dog
15. High Lunge
16. Lunar Uttanasana
17. Standing Anahatasana
18. Anjali Mudra

(Repeat entire sequence on the second side.)

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